Hello Again

 Dearest Ophelia,

It’s been a while! 8 1/2 years in fact and things have changed so much (which I know you know…).

It’s 5 days until your birthday and it’s a big one, 10! You would be 10! How have I lived 10 years without you? How have I survived missing you for 3648 days straight? I know I am different now and I am able to manage my grief but this one is more poignant. Turning 10 is such a moment in life and one I can vividly remember myself, it breaks me that you won’t get that moment, or any other’s! 

We will celebrate it though, our family of 7 and friends new and old who are coming to celebrate your day. There will be pizza, and cake, balloons and ice cream and probably a cringe from you up in the clouds as I sing my big girl Happy Birthday! How I wish you were here to see it…

It is unfathomably unfair. 

I want you to know we are happy though, we have a good life and you are part of our everyday and that will never change! 

So I leave you with your birthday gift, my dream of you…

I had a dream of you one day, in sunglasses and a hat

Your toes were sandy, your hair was wet but your eyes were wide and bright 

I had a dream of you one day, with a raincoat and umbrella 

Your socks were soggy, your nose was cold but your eyes were wide and bright

I had a dream of you one day, wrapped up in a big red scarf

Your cheeks were rosy, your body shivered but your eyes were wide and bright 

I had a dream of you one day, all dressed up like bunny

Your dress was stained, your hands were sticky but your eyes were wide and bright 

I had a dream of you one day, in sunglasses and a hat

I had a dream of you one day

I had a dream of you

I love you forever! 

Love eternal,

Mummy xxx