Hello gorgeous,
How are you sweetheart? Mummy and Daddy miss you, very, very much!
Mummy was just thinking we haven't really told you what has been happening! I know you keep an eye on us and probably think Mummy and Daddy are very silly at times but I thought I would fill you in.
So... As you know Christmas was pretty tough but your Nanna and Grandad Angelinetta bought you some ballons which made Mummy smile because I had wanted to get you some on Christmas Eve but with everything else going on the shops had closed by the time I thought about it. We all had a couple of ballons, all pink except for one purple one with flowers on which Mummy wrote a little note on for you, I hope you got it?! It was sad that that was one of the only things we had for you but the sky was blue and the balloons looked so pretty when they were drifting up into the clouds to you. Mummy and Daddy hope you and all your friends liked them.
Did you see Daddy dressing up as Father Christmas on Christmas Day for the residents at the home? Mummy was so proud of him because it took so much energy to put on the show when he is so broken inside. The residents loved it though and I am sure he made their day! He is a wonderful man, your Daddy! You know that though don't you Ophelia?!
Christmas was over pretty quickly which we were glad about, the build up was so difficult because we know we must have looked like right Mandy bums not wanting to celebrate! Mummy and Daddy just felt like the odd ones out, so many of our friends had cause for celebration, we just wished we had been celebrating too! We were meant to be. New Year was tough too, the anniversary of your 12 week scan and the last day of the last year you existed on earth. When people ask about you now Mummy and Daddy have to say you died last year. People then think it is a year since we lost you, not just six short months. Mummy and Daddy got through it though and we are proud of ourselves for trying to enjoy parts of it. We hope you are proud of us too.
Since then Daddy and I have been busy, we even booked a holiday to Santorini. It will be so nice to get some sun and watch the sunsets. Mummy loves seeing the pink in the sky, it reminds me of you. Mummy has also started acupunture, I am going once a week until further notice I think. It is a bit pricey but Mummy likes it and hopefully it will all be worth it if and when we bring your little brother or sister home. Mummy has also been doing a project on Instagram for the past 55 days. It is called 100 happy days and each day I put a picture on of the thing that has made me happy that day. Some days it is so very hard but I have done one every single day so I am very proud of that too. Did you also see that I met Sofia? I held her and everything! It is HUGE load off my mind to have done it and now I can pop round to see Till a bit more often! Mummy knows it will still be hard but the first hurdle is always the hardest!
Mummy and Daddy are off to the theatre in London this weekend and hopefully meeting one of your friend's Mummy and Daddy which will be amazing if they still can! Grief doesn't have a calendar though so it all depends on how we all feel. Mummy will let you know how it all goes sweetie.
Mummy is going to try and gets a photo collage together for you so you have some more to pin to your cloud, I will try and add them the next time I write. Please say hello to Mummy's friends from the home who moved there recently, I didn't get to say goodbye and I want them to know that they made me smile and I miss them! Give Chloe's Nanna's a kiss too!
Anyway squidgy, I had better do the washing up (booooo hissssssss). I will write again very soon.
I wish I could see you again.
Love eternal
Mummy and Daddy
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