Wednesday, 18 March 2015

Mid cycle meltdown

Hello poppet,

Mummy has her scan on Friday to find out if there are any issues inside me. I am so scared, the last time I had a scan my heart broke into a million pieces! Mummy's emotions are all over the place, why does it always happen mid cycle? It makes Mummy think she is out for another month and ultimately another year! Even years don't like Mummy... 2012, 2014... I want a baby in 2015 because what will 2016 bring us? Our last month for that to happen. Ahh what am I saying? It wasn't as if 2013 was that kind and so far 2015 hasn't been either! I guess it doesn't matter.

Trying to do my positive sayings in my head, also meditating and trying hypnosis. I WILL get pregnant very soon, I WILL have a healthy pregnancy, I WILL embrace it and I WILL leave the hospital with a happy, healthy baby, maybe two, or three... Your little siblings who will learn all about their amazing big sister, they will be so proud of you! Mummy and Daddy have picked their names I think. Mummy has been too scared to say them out loud, too scared to dream that it could happen. It CAN happen though, it has done twice before and this time it WILL work out exactly as it should because I AM super fertile, so is Daddy and my body is the perfect place to nurture a growing life. So your siblings will be called Arlo and/or Willow, both of which have your initials in them... LO! Mummy is trying so very, very hard to keep these positive thoughts up because we love you and your siblings so much and we just want to meet our next child now. Future baby, Mummy and Daddy love you so much, just like we do you gorgeous older sister!

Mummy hopes you knew how loved you were when you were inside me and that any fears I might have had or any negative thoughts didn't make you think any differently. We loved you then, we love you now, we love you forever!

Love you baby girl, Mummy and Daddy miss you so much!

Love eternal

Mummy and Daddy


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