NYE

To my dearest Ophelia,

We are heading into a new year now sweetheart, a year your body will not see. It is bittersweet. Your Daddy and I long for some new hope and we pray that 2015 brings us some of the happiness we deserve but saying goodbye to the last year that you were physically here is hard!

The first half of 2014 was the happiest of our lives, especially when your Daddy could feel your kicks. Daddy was super talented and pulled up all the carpet in the house, painted the floorboards upstairs and installed wood panel flooring downstairs. He also refreshed the paintwork in all the bedrooms and put together your nursery furniture. We were ultra prepared, we had everything ready with a few weeks to spare, all we had to do was wait. In the meantime, Mummy's tummy grew and grew as you got bigger and your movements got stronger, you really did love kicking your Mummy. I. Miss. That.

Since that fateful day your Daddy and I have tried to piece ourselves back together and I can honestly say that only a handful of days have passed were I haven't felt tears run down my face. We are stronger than we were and we are trying to be positive and capture life with both hands but we still have a long, long way to go. Mummy doesn't know what lies ahead, I am both scared and excited for the future but I will forever have a sadness in my heart. So much has changed since you had to go, some many negatives but positives too. Mummy listens more, taking care to consider other people's thoughts and feelings. I try to be more charitable too and Mummy has a plan for the future to help other families like us, nothing massive but something to add to the memory bank. We have a different friendship group, a stronger one, one full of amazing people who have helped us to get through the darkness. I will not miss the ones who didn't. We have also found friendship in so many unbelievable people, many of whom have offered support without having even met us. Most noticeably though is the strength your Mummy and Daddy have found and how much closer we are, I truly doubt there is anything that could break us apart now.

Mummy wishes you could have stayed with us, we miss you so very much but sadly no one has invented a time machine just yet so we have to carry on without you. We hope we have made you proud and continue to do so with every step we take. We hope you are happy wherever you are and that you are being well looked after, we know you have lots of amazing friends and family to keep you safe and warm. Mummy's heart broke the day we said goodbye and although it is beginning to heal it will never be fixed until we meet again.

We love you and we will write to you in the new year.

Happy New Year Ophelia, our sweet, sweet girl.

Love eternal.

Mummy and Daddy

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