Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Where is the justice?

Hello Beautiful,

How are things in the clouds? Are they springy? Mummy has always wondered whether they were like trampolines, Mummy hopes so!

So how have the last few days been for Mummy and Daddy? To be honest Ophelia, it is so up and down, one week we could be functioning pretty well whilst other weeks it feels overwhelming. Sometimes Mummy feels so angry, so let down, I try not to but it is hard, I see so much hate, so much evil but there are thousands of parents going to to sleep (or trying to sleep if only their brains would let them) tonight without their much loved, much wanted babies, WHERE IS THE JUSTICE?

Mummy and Daddy have always given to charities, never thinking we would find we needed one to survive... your Mummy and Daddy wouldn't be here functioning the way we do without the charities that have been there for us. Mummy uses the forum every day and has a group of friends on Facebook and Instagram that are there at a drop of a hat. Mummy and Daddy have a lady that comes round to see us every couple of weeks, she has lost too, her son 21 years ago, we talk about you, about our fears of a future pregnancy or possible lack there of and she is able to offer advise based on her own experiences. Then there is the group every month, a space where we can support others and be supported. Mummy and Daddy owe them so much, we hope we can continue to raise money for them, maybe one day our fundraising will save a baby like you. Mummy has said it before, nothing, NOTHING would ever be worth your death but I'll be damned if your legacy won't be worth something! It will be, Mummy promises you that, you will make your mark on the world, you already have!

Mummy looked at pictures of your bump buddy Harry today, it was hard! He is giggling now, looking like a little man, he looks like he is a right cheeky monkey and Mummy is jealous! I hate that I am, I shouldn't be because the two of you should have been growing up together, reaching milestones at the same time but the milestones we have are miles apart from the ones they are experiencing... Will your Daddy and I ever see the happier side of pregnancy? People tell us not to give up, we will get there, we like their optimism but sadly unless you have walked this road it is hard to see how impossible hope can be, after all pregnancy is the epitome of hope , if that dies what do you have left? A crystal ball is on Mummies Christmas list!

On a brighter note, Mummy and Daddy have entered a race that is taking place on 25 October in Oxford. It is only 5k but seeing as Mummy and Daddy are rubbish at keeping fit it will be a challenge  but hopefully our t-shirts will covered in rainbows by the end of it because people will be throwing paint at us as we run. It should be fun and very fitting considering how much we want a rainbow!

Right, Mummy is tired, I didn't sleep properly again last night so I am going to get myself to bed. Love you to the moon and back!

Love eternal.

Mummy and Daddy


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