Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Up in the trees

Hello Squidgy,

I have missed you!

You would have been so proud of your Mummy on Saturday, Daddy and I did a high wire course at Irchester Country Park, it was very scary! As Mummy and Daddy had promised you, we were thinking of something different we could do and Daddy mentioned Jungle Parc at Irchester. Mummy and Daddy had gone to the one over in Salcey Forest last year with our friends Janine and Chatt and because Mummy was so scared she only completed the first level which was just two metres high. Mummy was a wimp, I know! I was determined to give it another go and with you to spur me on off we went. Once there we got ourselves kitted up and were sent over to the practice area and were shown how to use the zip wires and safety harness. Mummy was already scared and Daddy wasn't sure I would actually get onto the real course, let alone get round it. I did though, I was terrified the whole way round but with each wobbly step I took I became more and more confident. Daddy was so proud of me, he hadn't seen me like that before, he felt bad for doubting Mummy! That is your doing sweetie, you give me so much strength I feel like I can do anything, although I am still very scared about the upcoming scuba dive I have set myself up for! You might have to give me an extra push for that one.

This week has been a bit up and down. Both Mummy and Daddy have come on so much from the early days without you, in fact it almost feels like it wasn't us, like those first few weeks were played out by people pretending to be us. To be honest though, we aren't the same people, we aren't the same as we were before we lost you and we aren't the same people we were in the early days of grief, so much has changed. Our outlooks are very different, we do not have any time for whinging over minor things like traffic jams, coughs and colds or the internet not working... IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER! We also feel so very aware of how real death is, how it can happen to anyone at anytime, which in turn makes us appreciate the life we do have, even though our life without you is so terribly hard to deal with. I guess we are stronger now. It is hard to see that way when we are in the depths of sorrow, but then we get up, we share a smile or a laugh and we carry on. Yeah, your Mummy and Daddy are pretty tough, never again will someone tell me I am weak... seriously try me!

Mummy has found some really great people to chat to on the SANDS forum, I have about 6 friends now, aren't I popular?! Two ladies in particular have certainly helped me over the past couple of days. I hope you have met up with their little ones, they would make great friends I am sure.

Anyway, I am whittling on as per usual so I will let you get some sleep.

I wish I could hold you again.

Love eternal.

Mummy and Daddy


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