Running

Hello Poppet,

The past couple of days haven't really been that exciting for Mummy and Daddy, we went for a run on Monday morning, Mummy did ok considering I gave birth 3 1/2 weeks ago! I think some people forget that sometimes, that I did actually give birth, I did bring you into the world and even though it wasn't the outcome we had wanted or expected, I did still feel excited at the prospect of seeing you, I did feel pretty proud of myself for having gone through birth without screaming the house down!

Daddy spent the afternoon in the garden digging up the weeds and overgrown plants, next summer we will have a lovely, easy to manage garden with a beautiful Ophelia Rose at the centre! Mummy couldn't tell you want she did, read, looked on the SANDS forum, cried... Same old!

Daddy and I went to bed relatively early and laid in bed talking about you with your blanket in between us both, as it is every night. When we were all in the hospital you had nose bleeds if your head wasn't completely supported or was not in the right position, I would get upset whenever you had one and worry if some got on to your clothes because I wanted to make sure everything we had of yours was perfect. Some blood got onto your blanket, in the hospital it upset me but now it is the part I love the most, it says "Ophelia was 'ere", it proves you existed and it wasn't all a dream!

Today was similar to yesterday, Daddy worked in the garden whilst Mummy looked at holidays and forums, holidays and forums on the internet! The forums really do seem to help Mummy, it is nice to be anonymous and just let it out.

Mummy and Daddy decided to go for some lunch so we found a new pub, The Greyhound in Milton Malsor. Mummy and Daddy find it hard to go to our usual places, people knew we were expecting and they would ask questions...

"Oh, have you had the baby, what did you have?"
"Where is the baby?"

We haven't been faced with those questions yet, how do we answer them? The truth...

"We had a girl, she was dead"
"Green burial ground in Olney"

Now that is a conversation killer! Mummy and Daddy do need to think about how to answer those questions, we wish we didn't!

After lunch Mummy and Daddy went in to town and just walked about for a bit, Mummy bought a dress for the holiday that hasn't been booked yet, hopefully we will get it booked by the end of the week. We came home soon after that, once again, I am not sure what we did, sat in silence, stared at the walls, cried.

Anyway we are tired from all the activities and you must be tired from hearing about them all ;-).

Goodnight sweetheart, we miss you terribly.

Love eternal

Mummy and Daddy

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https://www.uk-sands.org
http://www.childrenarebutterflies.org.uk